I'm eating all of the evidence.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We have started to decorate penises.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
