Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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