In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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