Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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