just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
