...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
