I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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