Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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