she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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