apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
