Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
