Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
