I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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