Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
