I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
