You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
