the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
