I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
