Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
