there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
