You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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