Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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