Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
