Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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