No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
