Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's rum buckets o'clock
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
