Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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