The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
