You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
