Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
