Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I smell stomach acid.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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