Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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