I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
