Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
