Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You pole danced in your parka.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves