what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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