Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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