It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We talked him into tasing himself.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
