I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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