did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize