census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you never un-have a 4some
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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