OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
