Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
