with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.