so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes