Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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  (215): the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says. http://tfl.nu/scvs
  Replies (54) Good night (4473) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...

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  (202): did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this... http://tfl.nu/5zp7
  Replies (29) Good night (1439) Bad night (5323)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week

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  (509): so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week http://tfl.nu/b2p9
  Replies (25) Good night (5167) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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  (914): 2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine http://tfl.nu/wmh7
  Replies (46) Good night (4944) Bad night (2926)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.

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  (709): i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk. http://tfl.nu/5r6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2741) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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  (847): I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms http://tfl.nu/d1qk
  Replies (5) Good night (2048) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

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  (404): You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up http://tfl.nu/mf69
  Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.

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  (706): I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery. http://tfl.nu/adx0
  Replies (7) Good night (1782) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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  (978): It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great http://tfl.nu/o9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (2441) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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  (419): We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/rk3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1159) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?

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  (440): did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper? http://tfl.nu/1jid
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

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  (516): Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night" http://tfl.nu/00ak
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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  (865): Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline. http://tfl.nu/4en0
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage

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  (757): He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage http://tfl.nu/ukt4
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (210)

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