yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.