Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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  (561): So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell? http://tfl.nu/0nz8
  Replies (44) Good night (7543) Bad night (1129)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know but we should still do that

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  (503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy
  Replies (20) Good night (5192) Bad night (728)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

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  (630): he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something" http://tfl.nu/3v6x
  Replies (11) Good night (4710) Bad night (828)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.

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  (314): last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga. http://tfl.nu/5ric
  Replies (16) Good night (4038) Bad night (1060)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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  (360): It feels like Jesse James cheated on America. http://tfl.nu/twcl
  Replies (22) Good night (4149) Bad night (1289)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.

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  (813): We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response. http://tfl.nu/3ka8
  Replies (16) Good night (7599) Bad night (1396)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5748) Bad night (1856)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.

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  (859): thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that. http://tfl.nu/160n
  Replies (11) Good night (6175) Bad night (955)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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  (207): her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did http://tfl.nu/hfoj
  Replies (21) Good night (5266) Bad night (2107)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it

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  (815): I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it http://tfl.nu/no3b
  Replies (14) Good night (1768) Bad night (4677)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.

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  (770): I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried. http://tfl.nu/6wir
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (3076)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

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  (517): well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle. http://tfl.nu/5dkw
  Replies (11) Good night (1727) Bad night (1718)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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  (770): Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers. http://tfl.nu/qvqu
  Replies (10) Good night (2765) Bad night (877)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?

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  (904): Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already? http://tfl.nu/3n3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (539)
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  (949): View more from California

  Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.

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  (949): Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto. http://tfl.nu/ns0m
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (590)

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