Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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