plz talk dirty to me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
