it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
