I don't think brook has ever known best
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick