Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..