It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.