who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass