What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
