she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
