How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
