Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
