I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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