im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize