Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
