You work out of a Hotel?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
