I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
