I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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