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• (626): View more from California

  I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just remember telling jokes while vomitting

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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• (310): View more from California

  I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML

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