3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just want to make out with him forever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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