It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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