His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
