it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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