dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
