I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize