Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
